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BY RAM SHARMA LECTURER IN ENGLISH J.V.COLLEGE, BARAUT, BAGHPAT 15-12-2000 Difficult Daughters was awarded the commonwealth writers prize for the Eurasian region, and was a tribute to the enduring mother-daughter bonds. Difficult Daughters is a strange story of mother-daughter bonds. Kasturi does not appreciate the freedom that her daughter Virmati demands and craves for. In this way unknowingly, the mother becomes the voice of patriarchy. Later on the same attitude is followed by Virmati also for her daughter; Virmatis daughter Ida also suffers alone in silence as she is not able to share her complexes with her mother, same had happened with Virmati also twenty years back. The absence of a positive support and sympathy shoulder of her mother leads Virmati to look for sympathy outside the home. Virmatis daughter Ida says in the beginning line of the novel, The one thing I had wanted was not to be like my mother.(Kapur 1) This very first line of the novel is enough to reflect the tension in the relationship of mother and daughter. Two pairs of mother-daughter bonds have been described in the novel and both are deeply invaded with conflicts and compromises. Virmati wanted that after her death, her body organs should be donated to help the other peoples who are in need of those organs; actually she thought that in this way she would be valued by someone at least. A few days before her death Virmati said: I want my body donated. My eyes, my heart, my kidneys, any organ that can be of use. That way someone will value me after I have gone.(Kapur 1 )
Above said lines of Virmati are enough to reflect her negotiation with this world. Till the end time of her life, she was fighting for her rights to be respected and valued as an independent human being. Virmatis negotiation doesnt end even with her death; her negotiation to get some importance is made continued by her daughter, Ida, who has tried to rediscover her mothers life to give her deserved respect and value.
In Difficult Daughters novel we observe the negotiation of women with society as well as with other women also. Sometimes it happens that woman who herself is not able to protest for her rights transfer this failure to her daughter also. Daughters have to carry the impact of their mothers personality and vision unconsciously. There is no escape for a girl from her mothers shadow, Usha Kurjekar writes in an article,
But the daughter Ida can also have no escape from her mother, just as Virmati the daughter could not have from her mother, Kasturi. Ida, nevertheless, confirms the centrality of her mother which brings about the positive stature of Virmati in the novel. (Kurjekar 233)
A lot of adjustments were required from the side of Virmati as the second wife of Harish moreover she had been suffered a total breakup from her parental family also. Virmati was given a pariah status and faced exclusion from the hearth etc which was the sole domain of the Professors first wife Ganga. Virmati had strained relations with her mother, daughter, husbands family and even with her siblings also, whole of her life was a bundle of conflicts and compromises. Virmatis strict attitude towards Ida and the pressure of high expectations never allowed them to be close enough to understand each other properly:
I grew up struggling to be the model daughter. Pressure, pressure to perform day and night. My father liked me looking pretty, neat and well-dressed, with kaajal and a little touch of oil in my sleeked-black hair. But the right appearance was not enough. I had to do well in school, learn classical music, take dance lessons so that I could convert my clumsiness into grace, read all the classics of literature, discuss them intelligently with him, and then exhibit my accomplishments graciously before his assembled guests at parties. (Kapur 279)
For Ida, Virmati herself selected a boy, well educated and well settled, but she lost her battle there also as the marriage was proved to be a disastrous. Idas husband was a selfish man; Ida always posed to be happy with the boy had chosen by her mother, but at last the real picture came in front; he divorced Ida. A continuous negotiation is an integral part of all these relationships. Our purpose is to explore the negotiation of women in various relationships.
Still in India an inter-caste marriage is a big issue especially in business class families; and marriage with a low caste boy is almost impossible. Many a times we have read in the news papers still some people killed the girl or the boy in order to save the false family honour. Rizwan- Priyankas love story was not an old incident where the girl was from high-class business family married to Rizwan an engineer from muslim lower class, they had been married without taking permission of their parents. After a few months of their marriage the dead body of Rizwan was found on the nearby railway track and the girl was forced to return to her parents. The famous Nitish Katra murder case was also a matter of honour killing. Difficult Daughters is the story of a young woman, named Virmati who is born in Amritsar into an austere and high minded household. She falls in love with a neighbour, the professor a man who is already married. This story tells how she is torn between family duty, the desire for education and ellicit love. This is a story of sorrow, love & compromise. The major portion deals with Virmatis love affairs with Professor and rest part describes fighting struggle for freedom. Story is full of Virmatis assertation against her mother and other family members. The story depicts how she passes her whole life only for getting the favour of her lover Professor who physically enjoys her and passes a long period in these types of activities. At the beginning it seems that Virmati, being immature does not ponder over his position and takes his remarks seriously and begins to perceive him her husband. But later on as the story proceeds Professor could not marry for a long time. This is a simple story, movingly told. Kapur sets the scene in pre partition Amritsar and Lahore, and she recreates that time and the locales beautifully. The whole novel shows the feminism of Virmati who opposes her all family and continues her study against the wishes of her family. Here the Professor Harish who loves Virmati could marray her due to the social boundation. But at last Harishs friend poet performs the essential marriage rituals. Thus Harish eventually marries Virmati, installs her in his home (alongside his furious first wife) and helps her towards further studies in Lahore, is a small consolation to her scandalised family or even to Virmati, who finds that the battle for her own independence has created irrevocable lines of partition and pain around her. Difficult Daughters is a skilful, enticing first novel by an Indian writer who prefers reality to magic realism. Manju Kapurs sensuous pages re-create an intimate world where family groups sleep in the open air on the roof and wash themselves in the yard in the dewy cool of morning, where love-making is furtive and urgent because another wife may be listening, and womens lives move to a complex choreography of cooking, washing, weaving and mending, growing, picking, chopping and blending.... This book offers a completely imagined, aromatic, complex world, a rare thing in the first novel. The story begins with Idas narration about her mother Virmati who has passed away. Ida recalls her mothers sayings what she had said before her death that there should not be any shor shaar and her eyes, heart, kidneys and other useful organs should be donated. But here Ida observes all rituals contrary to her mother wishes. When I die, she said to me, I want my body donated. My eyes, my heart, my kidneys, and organ that can be of use. That way someone will value me after I have gone. I glared at her, as pain began to gnaw at me. And, she went on, when I die I want no shor-shaar. I dont want a chauth, I dont want an uthala, I want no one called, no one informed (Kapur Manju, P- 1). She was being burnt with her organs intact. On this inaspicious day Idas relatives consoles her and makes her realise that how they are only their parents and she should visit them occasionally. Ida decides to visit her birth place and she also has a great desire to know about her mother so she boards in train and reaches without giving any information of her coming. Relatives welcome Ida and Ida tries fully to know each and every aspects of her mothers life. Now relatives unfold about the life of Virmati and highlights even the minute things about her. They narrate that being the elderest daughter she had to run the house and look after us. We depended on her although she was only our sister but she acted very bossy. We were scared of her. She was so keen to study bap re. First F.A, then B.A. on the top of that. Even after her marriage she went for an M.A. to Government College, Lahore, she studied more than any other girl in this family and Harish Bhai Shahib your father was very particular about education. But why do you want all this? What is past is past, forget about it. Eat, have another paratha, you are so thin, my relatives gave me one view of my mother, I wanted another. (P-5). All this was narrated by my relatives but I wanted the another view of my mother said Ida. So relatives narrate the whole life aspects before Ida and the real story begins. Virmati is the elderest daughter of Kasturi and Suraj Prakash, Kasturi has eleven children. The girls Virmati, Indumati, Gunvati, Hemavati, Vidyawati and Parvati. The boys Kailashnath, Gopinath, Krishanath, Prakashnath and Hiranath. One after another Kasturi gives birth to children and thus the whole burden of household work increases over Virmati, being the elderest daughter. By the time Virmati was ten, she was as attuned to signs of her mothers pregnancies as Kasturi herself. At times Virmati yearns for affection but Kasturi gets irritated and pushes her away. Her remarks Have you seen their food, milk, clothes, studies? Arre, you think there is all the time in the world for sitting around, doing nothing? I, m just going, protested Virmati finally why cant Indumati also takes responsibility? Why does it always have to be me? They dont listen to her, snapped Kasturi, you are the elderest. If you dont see things, who will?. (P-6) By the time Virmati was sixteen and Kasturi becomes pregnant. She was worried and unhealthy to give birth so she is sent to Dalhousie. Now Virmati was seventeen and studying for her F.A. exams. She has to go with her mother to look after her & other children. The conversation between Virmati and Kasturi shows Virmatis assertion. I m tired of knitting and sewing flared Virmati. Besides, I, m here to look after you. I can look after myself, why did you bring me if you dont need me, Mati? said Virmati, with a thick lump in her throat. What is all this nonsense? In Amritsar you were bad tempered because you were busy and tired, here you are bed- tempered because you are idle, retorted Kasturi. May be I should go back to Amritsar. Pitaji can take me the next time he comes. The language of feeling had never flowed between them, and this throat was meant to express all her thwarted yearnings. (P-12). Lajwanti makes a plan to come to Dalhousie and succeeds in it. She also invites her daughter Shakuntala who has been studying in Lahore. Virmati is highly influenced by Sakuntala who is having royal manner and having her own views and wishes to run her own life. Shakuntalas visit plants the seeds of aspiration in Virmati. At Shakuntalas departure Virmati clungs to her. The present speech shows the inner planning of Virmati. May be I will also one day come to Lahore, Pehnji, she wept. I wish I too could do things, But I am not clever Arre, exclaimed her cousin patting her on the back, times are changing and women are moving out of the house, so why not you? Why not, indeed, thought Virmati looking at her, almost breathless with admiration and love. (P-18) Images of Shakuntala Pehnji floating through her head, Shakuntala Pehnji who having done her M.Sc. in Chemistry, has gone about tasting the wine of freedom. Virmati decides to become like her cousin. No, she too is to go to Lahore, even if she had to fight her mother who was so sure that her education was practically over. (P-9) Living in Dalhousie Virmati finishes her class VIII and has been sent for highter studies to startford college in the civil lines. She takes admission in fine Art degree but due to her home duties she could not do well and fails. The following speech shows the assertation of Virmati Mati she said to her mother that evening, I, ve failed. I told you it was too much for you, said her mother, busy feeding the young children. Its not too much for me, protested Virmati, Not if I have time to study. Ever since we ve come back, you have been making difficulties, said Kasturi crossly. You had the Kotha storeroom to study in during your exams, and still you fuss, when Shaku used to study there she never complained. (P-21) Kasturi scolds her saying that leave your studies if it is going to make you so bad tempered with your family. You are forgetting what comes first. By this time Virmati seventeen, her mother worries about her marriage. The boy is a canal engineer and doing well. Meanwhile Kasturi continues sickly. The temporary respite in her ill health that the hill sojourn has brought about was soon over. Her father-in-law Lala Diwan Chand, could see that Kasturi had not benefited as much as he had hoped and his son is still anixons about his wife. There is a great dispute over the partition of property. Eventually it is decided to shift on Lepel Griffin Road. Lajwanti observes this as a golden opportunity to detach herself. She demands a separate living quarters ultimately. She succeeds but here she feels lonely and plans for having tenants. Harish Chandra is an English Professor, hires Lajwantis home on Lepel Griffin Road. Soon Professors wife & Virmatis family becomes friendly & their hospitably opens the doors of entrance Virmati takes the woman to Darbar Shahib & Company Bagh for visiting these places. Now Virmati passes her F.A. & wants to study further. Although her parents thinks that she has gone far enough & her fiances parents thinks that she is already well qualified too be the wife of their son, the canal engineer. They does not want too much education in their daughter-in-law, even though times are changing. By this time Virmati is serious about her education, and due to the death of the father of canal engineer, marriage is postponed. So Virmati enters AS College but her mother is worried about her daughters education & seeks advice of Professors wife. She assures her that Virmatis future is safe in AS College. Professor teaches and is highly impressed by the beauty of Virmati. By then, the Professors desire to posses har extended to his heart and mind. Now Ida asks to Kailashnath Mama about the college where her father used to teach and shows a keen desire to visit there. They do so. Next chapter starts with the ------ decision of Virmati not to marry and wants to continue her education. She has done her B.A. This decision creates a storm in the family and she is beaten and scolded by Kasturi. Kasturis face is purple with fury she says to Virmati. Remember you are going to be married next month, if I have to swallow poison for making you do it. (P-60) But professor insists her on being firm and assures that one day they will be together. Professor arranges a regular meeting in his friends home. This process continues and finally she makes up her mind not to marry Inderjeet and becomes mentally disturbed. She could not find any solution and marriage time is gradually coming near. She decides to drown herself in Tarsikka so she leaves home at late afternoon and drown herself but is saved by Lala Diwanchands servant and returns at Lepel Griffin Road.Veermati suffers total break-up from her parental family and she suffers a lot neglect at her husbands house also, Astha drops her relations with a her very close friend, Nisha have to marry a widower, and Nina has gone through the pain of being raped by her lover as well as she has to chose a life of separation and loneliness but this price is nothing because they prove that they are no more dependent on men. In this negotiation though woman is able to gain some thing but still the horizon is very far and she has to walk miles and miles to reach there. We can say these heroines are providing ray of hope to the coming generation Everybody enquires the reason and finally she declares that she does not like the boy and wants to study further. So marriage is settled with Indumati, the second daughter. Virmati is locked in the godown and marriage is performed with Indumati. Virmati and Professor continues their process through letters. But gradually Virmati thinks that all these activities are nothing except a fraud thing. So she writes him not to write further more after this. Now family plans to sent Virmati to Lahore for further study. Kasturi has to go with her for getting her admid in RBSL College. As they plan to leave Kasturi remarks When I was your age, continued Kasturi, girls only left their house when they married. And beyond a certain age .... Her voice quavered and she stopped, looking at her daughter helplessly. Virmati noticed the tears in her mothers voice, but she kept her head turned away. She had made a decision, and there were certain things she would not see. God has put you on earth to punish me, concluded Kasturi harshly, disappointment pinching lines around her tense mouth. (P-111) They reach there, and Kasturi enquires everything. Principal assures Kasturi that there will be no problem and she has her eye fixed firmly on each one. She admits that her daughter would be all right here. Shakuntala who has been a source of inspiration for Virmati, visits her regularly. Professors course of meeting Viru has yet not stopped and during this period she becomes pregnant. She becomes restless. She has already forbaded Harish not to visit untill her exam of BT not finishes. So there is no solution how she sent the news of her pregnancy to Harish. Exams are approaching to her and she involves in such a matter. She remains mentally disturb. So with the help of Swanlata, her roomate she gets abortion. Now she feels much better than before. While she sits for learning, the words of Professor echo in her mind and she could not concentrate her mind on study. So she could not do well in her exams. After completing B.T. she leaves Lahore and reaches home. Virmati decides that she will never meet Harish. Virmati is offered the principalship of a college, but Kasturi does not like to sent her. She is so young, Kasturi had no doubt as to what her daughter should be doing. She should stay at home untill, she had sense enough to get married. (P-180). After the Tarsikka episode, the family never forced her against her will. What kind of kismet is ours that the eldest daughter remain unmarried like this? After Indu, it is now Gunvatis turn, but still that girl sits there, said Kasturi miserably (P-181) The Diwan Sahib wants an answer before leaving Amritsar and question of Virmatis future has to be discussed with all the elders of the family. It is decided that Virmati will return to Nahan with him. Kailash will also go along, look things over, settle her in. Virmati settles there and soon Professor also visits her at night. This is the first time they have spent the whole night together but this visit is discovered by Diwan Sahib, and he calls Virmati Beti he started you know I am like a father to you. Your parents sent you here on my recommendation. I am responsible for you to the Maharani as well as to them. Now Virmati decides to leave and goes to Shantineketan. At Delhi, Virmati has to wait seventeen hours before the connecting train to Calcutta. She knew Harishs friend poet lived in the Civil Lines, and she decides to look hip up. He is already aware of their intimate relationship. So he does not let her go and calls Harish immediate. Harish receives his friends urgent telegram. He comes and poet performs all the rituals of marriage. Professor with Virmati returns home. During her conjugal life Virmati feels that it would have been better if she had not been married with Harish. Harish believes that everything will become normal with the passes of time. :After sometime Virmati gives birth to a girl named Ida. The novel ends with the birth of Ida. This girl Ida grows and asks her relatives more & more about her mother. Her relatives especially her Kailash Mama narrates the whole aspects of Virmati to Ida.
